lets all of us love our job~

My workstation~ now is a semester break for the students. Therefore, I am doing my next semester lesson preparation while watching movie. guess what movie im watching ? Much love, xoxo~~ ^^

Isn't it ironic

over the fact that nothing excite you anymore,

when you see that used to be a special person,

as if it never happened,
you never loved that one person,

where did it went?
that one feeling that give you an adrenaline rush

empty, vanish, tasteless! 

what an opposite twist of a heart that seems to be likely put up side down

when you looked back,
you wonder how can you loved that much?

Ironic isn't it?

:'(

A thousand times I have failed, but your mercy remains. Thank you Ya ALLAH~

Siapakah aku disisi tuhan ku~

On roadtrip during a fine~ fine~ day :D

I want to go on a roadtrip with you. Just you, me, the highway, and the radio. The blue sky, the black roads, and windows down. We'll talk about everything and nothing. And we'll sing our heart out. And  we'll make memories we'll never, ever forget. Just you and me, on a fine day like no other. Insyaallah. :)

On reading

I want to go back to reading~ reading lots and lots of books, but I barely have time to do it :( I am desperately into trail and crumbs by Kim Sunee & the girl who fell from the sky by Durrow. Oh please~

“You build that which you will not live in; you work and work and you die in them. You gather up that which you will not consume and you have hopes which you will never have. The people before you got deceived by the dunya so they gathered up homes and wealth…and all it did was take them away from the Akhira.”

—	Abu Ad-Darda

Lets have good thoughts people~

the truth is

my heart was a secret garden and the wall were very high~~~

Vulnerable

Without ALLAH, we are nothing but a lonely and depressed being.

Its been awhile~

it's been awhile. I miss writing. I wonder what makes me stop from writing before. Is it laziness, is it because i needed a break or it's actually because of my recent relationship with him. I kept wondering~

Aku takut pada manusia yang menakutkan

Manusia.
Kita memang menakutkan.

Aku takut pada jiwa yang kosong.
Aku takut pada jiwa yang terasa dirinya penuh ilmu di dada,
tetapi merendah-rendahkan ilmu di dada orang lain.

Aku khuatir pada mereka yang begitu semangat menegakkan agama,
sehingga lupa pada tanggungjawab,
kepada orang-orang yang sayangkan mereka.

Aku risau mereka yang bijak memutar-belit,
berselindung di sebalik topeng sayangkan agama,

Aku risau mereka yang rajin memberi peringatan,
tetapi dalam hati tersembunyi rasa riak mahupun ujub,
hingga mendambakan pujian manusia,
hingga melupakan pemerhatian Tuhan Yang Di Atas.

Aku risau pada diri sendiri,
yang begitu mudah terpengaruh,
yang begitu mudah mengadili,
yang begitu mudah mengkritik,
yang begitu mudah memperkecil.

Sedangkan aku masih belajar.

Siapa aku?
Manusia biasa.
Terlalu gopoh-gapah,
Lalu tergelincir.

Ya Tuhan,
lindungi aku dari tipu daya manusia.
dari sifat jahat yang halus tersembunyi.
dari jiwa yang hanya mahu menindas.

Aku lemah, Aku tewas.

Aku takut.
Pada manusia yang begitu menakutkan.

credit to : Zulaikha Osman
@ http://dakwat.org/?p=777?ef6d5b98

I hate this feeling

I need to be strong and shake it off~~

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.

The hunger games was awesome., watched it for two times already. Flawless :)

I am dying to watch the hunger games.., ohh, help me.
Hopefully, tomorrow, as soon as I'm out from the college.

thank you ALLAH

Looking back onto the path that I've been walking along the way of my life, there are many things that I unfortunately had taken for granted. Many things had been handed to me without me had to work hard for it, but not even a little appreciation did I give to the person nor the things that I had got. However, that was years back when I was having a teenager crisis- most of the time not really sure who I am and what I want to be- a very typical teenage girl with raging and unstable hormones. But, nowdays, every small and little kindness from others bring smile to my face. Now that I am out into the real world and have to work for every penny that I earned, I learn to be grateful and to says Alhamdullillah for every small little things. So in this post I would like to write on my ' things to be grateful list'.

1.) I know that I am far away from my family, but for this I am also grateful. Being away from them make me miss them all the time, and I keep telling myself when I am home I will be good to them. Ahh. I am so grateful for my mamy. sisters, abah & ummie. There had done so many wonderful things for me, mamy is really understanding in so many ways. I am grateful for that too. Never did she push me into doing things that I don't like. She trusted me in a way that she knows for the fact that I will never do things that will make her upset. For that, I am content, and just the thought of her make happy and felt bless somehow.

2.) For my sisters, I am indeed so grateful. I used to be displease with my sisters. I always feel that they always try to critisize me in so many way and love to tell me what to do. I need to and need not to do this and that. Sometimes they annoyed me alot. Little did I know, they did all of that for my own sake. They are my guidance in so many aspects of life now. I love my sisters to death, they always try to set a good example for me and for that I am so grateful. For whatever problems that I faced in my daily life, its my sisters that I consult first.

3.) For my friends that always love me just the way I am. The sweet and sometimes not-too-sweet me. The good and sometimes not-too-good me. The food lover and the loud me. For being able to endure me, I am too grateful for that. I am trying my best to be a better person, and somehow with them being around me I think I will be able to.

4.) For my job that pay the bills and support my shopoholic nature. I am grateful. For the very same job that let me do what I like the most and do the best. I am grateful. For being able to do what I like as a career that is truly a pleasure indeed.

5.) For my students that without me realizing teach me a lot about life and the importances of developing one's self. I am really grateful. For being able to share what I know and help them even in a smallest way that I could. I am most grateful.

There are many things that I am grateful for.., to write it here, it seems impossible., countless and countless of them. Syukur Alhamdullillah Ya ALLAH. For everything even the smallest little thing that I might not even realize.

Also I am grateful for my pumpkin, she is really clever, it is really amazing on how fast she learn new things. She will be 4 years old this coming April 26th. She has started to go to kindergarthen
and she just loves to go to school. Kakak, maksu is so proud of you- my little sweetheart. You are so great in so many way. Hail! Princess ilmy :)




For my dearest Izzah, I am way too grateful. She is just so enchanting and every little thing she does make me smile ear to ear. She is pure sweety pie. Everything about her is witty and cute in a very special way. She loves micky mouse so much, she calls him 'Mima'. Gosh, Izzah is just so adorable. I love her so much.



Izzah caught in action try to copy her ibu and breast feed her baby doll that she name 'Lina'. Hehehe. Way to cute.


For the new addition to our family - Amny Nur Aafiyah, I am surely grateful. Baby Aafiyah smells really good all the time from morning until night and even to the next morning. Her pluffy cheeks make me want to squeeze them everytime I see her. Aafiyah, be a good baby sister to your two big sisters and be a good daughter to your ibu and ayah k. Lovely baby, maksu will always love you unconditionally. :)

Aafiyah yang sedang khayal, waiting to fall deep into the her Lala Land~~ :)

For my two nephews, my heroes - along afiq and abang adik. Maksu is really grateful for both of you, eventhough you are now in the - so naughty phase. Ahh, always sweet as sweet as a candy cane when both of you want someting from me. But most of the time, drive me crazy with they idea and this and that. Still, maksu loves both of you lots and lots and lots. :)

--> I just realize, I have another entri with the same title. :)

in the journey of the moment

He says: Bon voyage~~
She says: Merci beaucoup~~

bliss, bless & happiness

I'll be going home tomorrow, to home sweet home. So, I am feeling grateful since this is out of my plan. It is just come along the way somehow. My sisters are super sweet with treating me with the unplanned plane ticket. I am smiling ear to ear while packing for my stuff just now. Ohh, home is where loves are always shining as bright as the moon in the clear sky. Home is where it is warm and comfy. Where the foods are always mavellous. Where my pumpkins and sweety pies are. Where my heart will always belong to. Being away from home is challenging, good and full with the smells of life. But being home, being home is without a doubt an exact good mixture of bliss, bless and happiness~~

" THERE ARE OTHER THINGS WE HAVE TO FIND,
before we find each other"

Sudddenly, everything make sense because, paradoxically, I finally accepted that it never would make sense. That's life. It's not all wrapped up with a tidy bow - its crazy and disorganized and unpredictable, and so are the people who live it.

Diane Schwemm, The Year I Turned Sixteen

I've got a good solid lesson today. I somehow know that it is my fault entirely.
Nonetheless, for all of it I am thankful.
Dear self, no more of that mischivious attitude, or you know that you'll be in trouble again.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them relly about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on the way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost (1916)

hufff

Im so annoyed and irritated with impolite and improper students.
Im not gonna care anymore. Do as you like.

you, yes you... It is

possible?
to not to hate anyone
to not to have hatred in your heart ?

its a good idea

time passes, mind changes.,
Suddenly I felt that I want to roam more in other places, not to just stay at the same place, not to just be at my hometown, I got the chance to move back and work at my hometown. Still, I guess I will refuse and decline it.

"A very shocking decision of yours" my sister said to me at the wee hours during our conversation via phone.

Well, considering what I want when the new year starts few months back, it is indeed shocking even to me. However, thinking about it carefully, I think I like it to be like this, as for now. I think I gain and mature more while being away from my beloved family. I experience more thus I learnt more. Not just gaining cognitively but also spritually. Somehow, I become more independent, less jugdemental and less temperamental. I learnt to put myself in other peoples shoes. Able to see from others point of view and looking at ideas and subjects from different perspective. What I want now is endless opportunities and possibilities.

While ending my conversation with my sister I said to her, maybe its even a good idea to get married in a few years from now and work and stay in overseas with my husband to be. She laughed. Not a bad idea. She replies me.

Right. Not a bad idea at all.

No does not mean never. It just means not yet.

I know

I am but summer to your heart,
And not a full seasons of the year;

Why do I always have to fall for the malancholic literature boy

I wonder.....

Bunga-bunga riang seorang lecturer

I miss teaching a good students. A good students wont be the one who knows everything, but a good students will be the one who is modest, polite and respecful towards the teacher. He or she might not knows everything but he/she is willing to listen, willing to respect and willing to learn. Gembiranya hati seorang guru bila dapat students yang macam tu. Berbunga-bunga rasanya. Dalam hati asyik berdoa agar anak-anak muridnya itu cepat faham dan hari - hari berlalu sentiasa rasa tak sabar nak masuk kelas, nak bagi semua ilmu dengan students. Bahagianya. Sebut pasal students yang baik, teringat-ingat kenangan mengajar ELSP di USIM baru-baru ini. Students semuanya baik-baik belaka. Hati jadi tenang and gembira je bila masuk kelas. Happy sangat-sangat. :) To all of Group 29 ELSP 2 students. You Rocks!!! :) Mudah-Mudahan ada jodoh and dapat jumpe lagi!! Miss rindu tau!! :)

"ǝʌıʇɔǝdsɹǝd ɹǝɥʇouɐ ɯoɹɟ sƃuıɥʇ ǝǝs oʇ ǝʌol ı"

I care too much.

Therefore, I am deeply hurt.

DATE A GIRL WHO READS

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

- Rosemarie Urquico, Date a Girl Who Reads
in response to Charles Warnke’s You Should Date an Illiterate Girl)

--> I heart this piece. heart it alot! <3

I kinda miss my life as a student. I miss the morning class. I miss the thick overseas text book. I miss sleeping at 3am struggling to finish my assignment. I miss cramping my brain with last minute revision. I miss sitting at the exam hall while staring at the fan hoping for an idea to pop-up. I miss studying.

One day.Again. Definitely.InsyaALLAH.

"I doubt if I shall ever have time to read the book again — there are too many new ones coming out all the time which I want to read. Yet an old book has something for me which no new book can ever have — for at every reading the memories and atmosphere of other readings come back and I am reading old years as well as an old book."

- L.M. Montgomery, from The Selected Journals, Vol. 3: 1921-1929

Ambitious Saturday

Assalamualaikum.

I am in working mood., even though its weekend now I still find myself busy preparing my lesson materials for next week. Lets get real, I don't think I start teaching next week, it will be more on ice breaking session with the students. However, this year, I wish to be more diligent in terms of my work (InsyaALLAH. Mudah-mudah aku beristiqomah). So, I wish to prepare and finish my work beforehand :) I'll be teaching Reading and Writing Development 1 to first semester students and Introduction to Literature to second semester students. Read&Write Dev1 is a subject that I taught last semester, so there are only few things to be done since I can recycle my teaching materials from last semester. However, Intro to Lit is a new subject for me, and this is my fav subject to teach since I really like/adore literature. I literally begged my boss to let me teach this subject. hehe.., Eh, takde la sampai macam tu. I just asked her nicely to let me teach literature. Alhamdullillah, she trusted me. :)

I have lots of resolution for this year,
not just to be more diligent in work but also in my prayer.
to read holy Quran as much as I read books.
to shed few kg from my chubby self.
to eat healthy foods and drink more milk.
to further my study.
to always be good to my family (sebelum ni bukan tak baik tapi nak jadi lebih baik lagi).
to always make my mum smiles and proud of me.
to be a good educator.
to save money and finally stop buying things that I don't need (and ended up membazir sebab barang-barang yang dibeli tak pakai pun)

and maybe, hopefully to move back to my hometown and work there. (My mum really wants me to move back to my hometown and work there. to settle down there, since my family is there. My mum said shes always pray so that I manage to work somewhere in Sabah. Doa ibu itu mustajab. InsyaALLAH.

Kita merancang, ALLAH yang menentukan. In my part, I can always pray and work hard for whatever I wishes for., tetapi DIA lah yang Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu.

itu dan ini dalam hidup ini

Macam-macam jadi di akhir tahun lepas dan di awal tahun ini. sangat mencabar ok. tapi aku okay-okay sahaja. malas nak ambik pusing (walaupun sebenarnya da nanges-nanges setengah baldi ;p). orang-orang yang negetif dan yang mahu terus berada di takuk lama, silalah. Aku tak kesah pun. Aku nak kehadapan dan terus maju. kalau rasa tak mahu untuk ikut, tak mengapa. > cheh cheh cheh, bunyi merajuk tapi tetap bersemangat < hahaha

Ok semua, mari bangun dan terus mara kehadapan ya :)


" Hendak atau tidak, hati itu perlu diisi. Jika kita tidak bergerak mengisinya dengan perkara yang sepatutnya, maka keburukan pula akan mengisinya. Ibarat batu. Jika ia tidak bergolek, maka lumut akan menyelimutinya walaupun dia tidak bergerak." -Hilal Asyraf-

Happy new year 2012

MasyaALLAH cepatnya masa berlalu. Terasa baru semalam menyambut tahun baru 2011. Walhal, semalam tahun 2011 melabuhkan tirainya dan hari ini hari pertama ditahun baru 2012. Tahun 2011 banyak membawa pengalaman berharga. Suka dan duka. Tawa dan Tangis. Senyum dan gundah. Semua ada. Banyak penyesalan yang sudah tentu tidak dapat diulang dan diubah lagi. Namun, semua yang baik mahupun yang buruk itulah yang banyak mengajar tentang erti kehidupan. Syukur dipanjatkan pada Ilahi kerana masih diberi nikmat umur untuk merasai kehadiran tahun 2012. Semoga tahun 2012 ini akan membawa seribu satu kebaikan, senantiasa berada di bawah redha dan hidayah dari ALLAH yang maha esa dan dapat menjadi seorang muslimah yang lebih matang dari segala segi. Ameen.

Sesungguhnya, nikmat yang Allah berikan sepanjang tahun 2011 sangat la banyak dan tidak terhingga. Syukur Alhamdullillah. Walaupun diri ini serba kekurangan dari segala segi namun rahmat dari-Nya sentiasa berkunjung tiba. Sesungguhnya Dia lah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. Semoga 2012 membawa lebih banyak rahmat dan hidayah dari-Nya.


"You knock, He opens. You attend, He welcomes. You ask, He gives. You sin, He tests, You repent, He forgives. You sin again. He forgives again. You cry, He listens. Everything you do, is about you; and everything He does, is about you. So which of Allah’s favours will you deny?” [Quran Surah Al-Rahman 55:13]