tu m'as menti

knowing the truth was too much...
and all this while..., what is really happening was you lied straight to my face...

for my ummie on her birthday

My ummie has wipe my tears, made me laugh, watched me succeed, seen me fail, cheered me on, kept me going strong and drove me a little crazy at times.., but a mum likes her is a promise that you'll have a best friend forever.., how I miss all the moment that we shared together..,

Happy birthday Ummie.., May ALLAH blessed you with the greatest gift of all --His bless and his compassion.. Amin

All in one

wow.., lamanya tak post.., ni semua sebab kesibukan yang tersangatla menjadi-jadi.., dalam tempoh 3 minggu lepas, pening dan busy dengan term paper/thesis = research paper , observation dan kerja yang berlambak-lambak.., haa.., tu la.., jadi lagi cikgu.., ingat jadi cikgu senang sangat ke? Just because you only work for 6hours per day compared to other jobs.., it doesn't meant that being a teacher is easy.. its actually more demanding that what it look like.., especially if you are a trainee teacher- meaning you are still a students at the same time. You are still required to complete you term paper. Hufff.., penat sangat sangat penat.., sampai migrain dan muntah-muntah...., kalau teringat balik detik-dekit 2 minggu lepas.., insaf wooo.., cukup la.., taubat nak wat research lagi.., kalau nak sambung study nanti.., rasanya amik course work je la, tak nak wat research. Lagi-lagi aku pulak in terms of keja tak nak cincai boncai.., nak kena wat bagus-bagus as long as I'm capable of trying my best kan.., lepas tu, asyik-asyik risau, takut-takut lecturer tak accept term paper tu or maybe banyak yang kena edit and re-edit.., adui..., punya la susah.. Dalam taip research asyik-asyik berdebar-debar, sampai makan pun tak lalu.. Bila da hantar dengan lecturer pulak, asyik-asyik call him = my lecturer, and tanya ok ke tak term paper tu.., I think to the point he felt annoyed with me.., huhuhu..

In the end I just told myself that I need to chill, because absolutely nothing good will come out from over thinking things. Now days, I learn to let go things.., i think it is better than trying to maintain control. I actually feels more relief like this.., like I can breath easier. Now my 'mantra' is if its meant to be, it is meant to be..., just let loose and be happy with each coming days. Don't think too much...

since I'm staying in Klang now, there are many place to hang out. So, it is more fun and less stress.., usually me and my hommies went to watch movie and book shopping.., it was so much fun. Last night, all of us plan birthday surprise for Nanako.., neway, happy 23rd birthday Nanako, :) woah.., da 23 thn da.., cheh cheh cheh.., now you are in a age of a young lady blossoming to become a real lady... I wish you all the best in your future undertaking dear., and may our friendship will always be as tight as now..

Last night, after the surprise birthday party for nanako we went to watch World invasion : Invansion of Los Angeles. The movie was fine, but I have to say from the very beginning until the end of it was explosion, gun fired, some kind of alien, marin officer, more explosion, more gun fired and more people dying. That was the whole summarization of it. Maybe not my kind of movie.., I think guys will like this kind of movie more since it is full with action and I have to mention again - full of EXPLOSION. We take pic last night, but I haven't take it from Fatin and Yati. So, I cant upload yet.

Last two weeks pulak, before the school holiday we went and watch Beastly.., and I have to say I love it!I love it! I love it! This is my kind of movie. Alex Pettyfer as always was so fine and great in it. Not just he played the role of the 'handsome Kyle' awesomely but also the 'beast Kyle' greatly. Vanessa Hudgens was also lovely and I like it that the movie stay true to the book as much as possible.

I like the book as much as I like the movie

haha.., too cute.., vg and nanako who tried to imitate the poster of Beastly :)





Not much people in JJ that night since it was midnight show, so we played with the 'kete bergerak-gerak kalau masukkan duit'. Dapat la merasa walaupon umur da melebihi had, kalau tak jgn harap coz nanti semua mata memandang.., malam tak de org wat je suka ati.. hehehe..

wow.., punya la panjang entri ari ni, semua crita masuk dalam ni.., all in one la katakan.., balas dendam sebab da 2 minggu tak blogging.., pasalnya byk keja and broadband pon rosak baru-baru nie.., macam-macam.. ok la.., nak siapkan lesson plan, monday ni ada observation lagi. Assalamualaikum...

Never ending hope

I hope you find what you looking for
whatever it may be
I hope you are not deceive and I will never able to say 'I told you so'
but if you did and if I did
hopefully you learn something from it
because in this beautiful and wonderful world
ironically, the people in it are not so beautiful and wonderful
unfortunately, the people in it can be cruel and wicked

I just wish you know better
cause' you are always more careful and wiser than me
you are always mature and sensible
you are always clever and confident
but I'm afraid not this time around, honey
you may ended up breaking your heart
and that would be such a shame for a beautiful and wonderful person like you...

-sweethanie,
unleashing my ever locked emotions.

HAVING A COKE WITH YOU

is more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irun, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick on my stomach on the Travesare de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of you love to yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I'm with you that they can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o'clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through it spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world why anyone did them

I look
at you and I rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it's in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven't gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less take cares of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionist do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn't pick the rider
as carefully as the horse

is seems they were all cheated for some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is I'm telling you about it

-Frank O'Hara

One of my favourite poem.., what a wonderful and amazing poem by O'Hara and turn out to be it is featured in Beastly the movie. When I watched the movie last Saturday, I was like.., "Wow.., having a coke with you, that is my all time fav poem, AWESOME" :)

Enjoy the poem.., Feel it.., Cherish it.., Adore it...

Always be my love

B, is always by my side.., no matter whether I’m happy or sad.., but especially when I’m lonely and down.., B was always there - in my long journey inside the train from Klang to Seramban, in my miserable day of having a bad feeling after hurting the one that I love, in my bored day of having nothing to do and just.., just whenever I in need somebody or something.., B was always there.., I hold into it tightly.., not wanting to let go. B lets me explore other places, cultures and thoughts that is so foreign for me, tell me so many things.., sometimes it makes me laugh so hard, I can't even stop. And once a while, it makes me cry.., but in good way, I cry because it tells me that I’m fortune enough, unlike million people out there.., Sometimes, it let me taste the sweetness of fantasy, something that are beyond my imagination. Sometimes it taught me about life and humanity., so good to me.., so comforting.., especially having B when I’m laying down in a rainy day on my bed, just being lazy, rolling around and holding it in my hand and staring and focusing at B with my eyes..

Therefore, thank you B.., thank you dear.., my dearest B.., my beloved B.., my B.., even though there are so many of you, I will try to love all of you equally.., equally…, Thank you my baby B..

My B, my BOOKS…

Love you always.. xoxo :)

ne regrette rien

I regret nothing. There have been things I missed, but I ask no questions, because I have loved it, such as it has been, even the moments of emptiness, even the unanswered — and that I loved it, that is the unanswered in my life.

~The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand~